Mondays
by Lilly Winters
Summary: Zim never liked Mondays. It only marked the beginning of a new week which meant dealing with the filthy Earth-worms at skool. But a certain "purple human" may change that all. Zagr!


**A/N**

**I have been working on Powerpuff Girls stories so much lately that I haven't been able to write many Invader Zim stories. So here is a good ole' Zagr! I actually liked how this one turned out. I think it is pretty cute ^-^ Mondays will never be the same for Zim ;D**

**I do NOT own Invader Zim. Enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated!**

He was so bored.

Mondays did that to him. They made him grumpy. But then again, it does that to everyone.

What good comes out of a Monday? It marks the beginning of a new week (Oh, joy), you have to wake up early to prepare for said week, and you have to deal with the same little pig smellies that fester about. Nothing good ever comes out of the day.

"I hate Monday," Zim grumbled. He placed the familiar wig onto his head and slapped on the usual contacts over his alien eyes. From his room, he could hear Gir's expected Angry Monkey Show blaring. The insane laughter echoing from the giddy robot rang throughout the house like always. He grunted as he stared at a mirror. "And so I must deal with another foolish Earth day. Hmph. Pathetic humans…So unaware that a mighty ruler is among them!" he yelled, raising his fist triumphantly.

"The potatoes are coming!" Gir cried from the living room.

Zim rolled his eyes, sighed, and prepared himself for the hectic day that was sure to come. Striding across the kitchen, he placed his hands on his hips and peered down at Gir. "I have to go to school now, Gir. I expect the base to remain in one piece. And do not touch anything," he said slowly. Though he was unsure of whether or not the dazed metallic child heard him, he had no time to lecture for if he did not leave then, he would be late. "Can't have the meat sacks getting suspicious of anything," he muttered, closing the door behind him.

Gir remained staring at the TV with his mouth hanging in awe. When he realized Zim had left, he waddled over to the refrigerator and pulled out a Popsicle, giggling madly as he stuck it to his forehead.

Zim kicked a pebble down the sidewalk and grumbled to himself in frustration. _Why did the humans even have to create a Monday? _He thought to himself. It simply added to the pathetic existence of this planet._ Monday means school and school means…_

"Dib," he hissed at the boy.

"Guess what, Zim?" Dib smirked, wagging his eyebrows tauntingly. "My dad has been extra busy in the lab this week working on a new device. It is capable of translating any language known to man. That means I can borrow it to decode all the files in your base!"

"If it can only decode languages known to man, then how can it translate my language if it is still unknown to you and your race?" he pointed out. He rolled his eyes and walked away from Dib, who was deep in thought pondering the logic of the Irken's statement. "Foolish Dib…" he muttered. But he tripped and fell to the ground. Glaring back to see what was responsible for his fall, his eyes traveled up and he froze. "Gaz-human?" he asked.

"My name is Gaz," she spat. "And if you don't stop calling me that, I'm going to rip that stupid disguise off and shove it in—"

"I'm not wearing a disguise!" he said, jumping to his feet. He glanced around nervously. "Uh…uh…I'm normal!" His peers stared at him for a moment before continuing on their way. Zim faced Gaz. "Little earth piglet," he said, patting her head and wiping his hand off on his uniform, "I do not know where you get the idea that it is a disguise, but—" He had no time to finish though and she peeled his contact up before letting it slap back onto his eye. He yelped in pain as he grasped his eye.

"It's a disguise," she stated.

Zim frowned, wiping a tear away. "Okay, I want to know who told you it was a disguise and I want you to tell me now!"

"It's not hard to figure out," she scoffed. "You have green skin and your "parents" are robots. Your dog can talk and has a giant zipper sticking out of his neck. Your house glows. Really, Zim, it's not that hard." She pulled his wig down over his eyes and returned back to her locker. It tickled his nose and he growled, but oddly enough, a small flutter within was created from the simple gesture. He raised an eyebrow at his chest. "Is your stomach—squeedlyspooch or whatever really that interesting?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head, "you made it vibrate."

"I made it what?" she asked, slightly grossed out.

He frowned and crossed his arms. "All right, what disgusting human device did you place within Zim when I was not looking?"

"What are you talking about?" she shook her head as if saying, are you really serious?

"Hmm…it seems to only react when I am near you," he observed, stepping closer then farther then closer to her again. She pushed him away.

"Will you stop that?"

"Obviously you are responsible for this, purple human! Admit your guilt to Zim!"

"Look, Zim," she said, slapping her forehead. "Why would I want to put a machine inside you that makes your stomach—"

"Squeedlyspooch," he pointed out.

"Whatever! What I am trying to say is why would I implant a machine inside of you that makes it vibrate?"

He shrugged.

"And how would I even accomplish this? You really think I could shove it down your throat _without_ you noticing?"

"Hmm," he hummed thoughtfully, "you do have a point to be such a foolish human. Very well, _Gaz_. I, Zim, believe you!"

"Gee, I am so lucky," she said in sarcastic annoyance.

"But it still does not explain why I am vibrating!" He growled. "I knew nothing good could come out of a Monday! First Gir is as noisy as ever, then I have to deal with the Dib-stink, and now my squeedlyspooch will not stop vibrating when I am near you!"

She realized what he said and raised an eyebrow, staring at her locker. "You mean it only happens near me?"

"That and I cannot focus when I'm next to you!" he screamed irritably. She cringed back, yet sighed. Opening her mouth to explain, she was quickly interrupted as Dib yelled Zim's name. "What do you want, filthy worm?"

"Y-You…you…!"

"Yes, yes," Zim waved it off in frustration, "I am me. What's your point?"

"You can't have a crush on my sister!"

"I did not crush your sister!" Zim replied defensively. Both Dib and Gaz slapped their foreheads.

"No!" Dib said. "You can't be in love with her!"

"Pathetic little Earth monkey," Zim smirked smugly. "What makes you think I would bestow this great honor on such a measly little creature such as a human?"

Gaz balled her fists. "What did you just say?"

"The Gaz-human is certainly, what's the word you humans use…?" He curled and uncurled his fingers as he put emphasis on the word, "She is certainly what you monkeys call "sexy"," Gaz's face dropped as he continued, "but according to my observations on your emotions, love is a profoundly tender slash passionate affection for another being, resulting from the course of spending time or carrying on many conversations with said person. You do not see me delivering vast floral arrangements or sugary brown sweets that fatten humans tremendously to her, do you?" He reached into his PAK and retrieved an alien specimen that looked similar to a black daffodil mixed with purple orchid petals. "Besides, Irkens do not follow the same wretched display of "affection" by giving them food that will eventually kill them. In my opinion, that is not love if you are slowly destroying them from the inside out!" Dib shook his head, his eye twitching at the alien's ramblings. "However, we do do this." He stooped over to his knees, grasped Gaz's hands, and placed the flower behind her ear. The flower bloomed bigger and a soft crimson dust floated from the center."Typically it is placed within the Irken's antenna, but seeing that you creatures lack such a thing, your weak hearing limbs will have to do." Pointing at the flower, he continued. "When you see that red dust come from it, that means that you are in love with whoever you gave the flower to. If you were not in love, then the dust would be black."

Gaz noted that the dust was red.

He rose and walked away casually, calling over his shoulder, "_That_ is how we do it."

Both Gaz and Dib watched the alien walk away with wide eyes and blank expressions. Zim flicked a stray hair away and sighed, shaking his head. "Mondays are so—" But before he said the typical statement of how boring they were, he stopped where he was and cocked an eyebrow. "So unusual…"

**A/N**

**Oh Zim! Charming, and he doesn't even realize it XD Hope you liked it!**


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